Dear Dara Jasmine,
I don’t even know how to start this. My hands are shaking while I write. I feel so ashamed. I’ve done something terrible. Something I wish I could undo, but I can’t.
I cheated. I hurt you. I made the worst mistake of my life. And I will regret it for the rest of my days. I’m so sorry, Dara. I truly am.
You didn’t deserve any of this. You gave me your heart. You trusted me. You believed in me. And I threw it all away. I broke your heart, I broke your trust, and I broke us.
I don’t know how to forgive myself for what I did. I cry every time I think about the pain I caused you. Seeing you cry because of me, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to see. And it plays in my head over and over again.
You did so much for me. You went out of your way just to be with me. You lied to your mom just to see me. You skipped meals, left your friends, carried heavy bags, ran for drivers, all because you missed me. You were hungry, tired, and still, you showed up for me. All you wanted was to spend time with me and be loved.
And what did you get? Someone who hurt you. Someone who didn’t see your worth in time. Someone who didn’t treat you the way you deserved. That person was me.
I hate myself for what I’ve done. I really do. I never wanted to become this kind of person. I don’t know how I let it happen, but I take full responsibility. I don’t blame anyone but myself.
If I could go back in time, I would. If I could take the pain away from you, I would in a heartbeat. But I can’t.
I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t even think I deserve it. But I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. Deeply, truly sorry.
If one day you do forgive me, I hope it’s on a day when your heart is healed, when you are full of love, peace, and happiness. Because that’s what you deserve.
Until then, I’ll carry this guilt with me every day. I’ll live with the pain of knowing I hurt the best person I ever had.
I’m so, so sorry, Dara.
With all my heart,
Vando